How to heal your own heart even when it seems impossible.

I was in my early 20s when I realized that I could no longer expect other people to heal my heart…and my heart hurt, a lot.

The truth is that many, many people go through life feeling broken-hearted. Some had their hearts broken as youngsters, and others in adulthood. The pain is agonizing and seemingly never ending.

Then the question becomes, “How do you make it stop?”

You may want to resist the reality that you can heal yourself. I did. I know. I wanted it done for me because I felt I wasn’t the one that messed it up in the first place, so why should I have to fix it?

I felt offended and angry when my now husband asked me to take responsibility for my healing more than 20 years ago. I felt betrayed. Like he was trying to diminish my suffering. Erase it. But it couldn’t be erased because who would I be without it? I had no idea how to live without that ‘story’.

In order for this ‘idea’ to work, I had to retrain my brain. I had to let go of the belief that I needed that broken heart to define me.

Without it how would I explain my tenacity, my focus, my drive. I needed it. My broken heart was my fuel. I didn’t know how to let it go, and quite frankly, nor did I want to.

When I finally got it, that this wasn’t fuel. It was actually quite the opposite. I also began to understand that I wasn’t punishing the people that hurt me. With my resentment, my anger, my judgement….I was punishing me. The people that hurt me, they were far more shattered on the inside than I was, only I couldn’t see that at the time. All I knew was that I could never, ever hurt another human that way.

When I began my healing journey, everywhere I turned, the advice from spiritual teachers and thought leaders said that I should forgive the abuser.

To me, that didn’t sit right. At the time it felt like they were telling me to BS myself into believing that the abuse I suffered was, in fact, forgivable. That I should somehow, as a regular human, be the bigger person.

Don’t get me wrong, I forgive all the time. I forgive mistakes, accidents, and so on. I also forgive myself. But for certain types of abuse, I’m sorry that’s a different…

Related posts:

Do you live in Canada? Are you from a major city like Vancouver, Montreal or Toronto? Would you like to receive indium prices in Canadian dollars? Well, if that is your case, we have news for you! We…

O ano que desperta há de trazer muita coisa, não tenho dúvidas. Mas nem tudo vai bater com esse olhar esperançoso. O ano é 2019 e ainda precisamos lembrar e reforçar que podemos fazer melhor. Como…