A Day in the Life of a Counterfeit Friendship

We have lots of counterfeit friendships, they just exist in different ways. We have those who only talk to us when they need someone, only call us their best friend when they want you to feel sorry for them, counterfeit friendships are draining; no way around it.

One of you is putting in the effort so the friendship can actually happen in real time, working so that everyone can feel equal. The other promotes the idea that they are the only one important, they cycle through other friends as well. Promising that this time it will be different; this time they will pay more attention to you and check in more often.

As you wait for them to continue what you thought was a friendship, you’ll realize that this is the first step towards acknowledging that you are in fact a part of this counterfeit friendship. I’ve had plenty of these, and I have been the counterfeit friend. We all have.

Counterfeit friends will ask you to do something for them, that they wouldn’t even offer to you. They are hard to be there for, because they either never tell you what is wrong when you ask, will ignore your attempts to help them, or suck out more energy from you than you give yourself. And before you know it, you’d jump hand over foot for them while the only time they make eye contact with you is in passing.

Counterfeit friendships abuse the word friendship. They aren’t a give and take, they aren’t mutual, they aren’t healthy. They make you feel the worse inside, like you aren’t doing enough. Like no matter what you do, they will always be alone, and you are the reason they feel this way. Not that they have work to do on themselves, not that they need to learn how to have healthy relationships, not that cycling through best friends and then constantly telling everyone they have none in front of your face is unhealthy.

No…
It’s you, it’s the friend that would go above and beyond for them, it’s the friend that would walk a mile for them, drive to them no matter the time, and ask whenever they saw something was wrong.

I’m here to tell you, that it’s not you. You are not the reason they feel alone, you are not the reason they don’t feel loved. You are doing everything you can for them and that is amazing, but there comes a point where there is nothing else you can do. No amount of time or energy is going to excuse losing yourself or stressing out about how they’re feeling. Worrying about if they are having a good day, or how many times they cried today. Look out for yourself. Love yourself. And remember to always have courage and be kind.

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